Two times a year, New Years and my birthday, I deeply reflect and ask myself several questions to assist me in assessing my life's path and direction. With my birthday rapidly approaching, I have carved out time from my schedule to review and journal about the answers I am seeking.
- Where am I currently? (Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually)
- Do I like where I am in my life right now and what can I do to improve upon it?
- Where I have been? (Achievements, successes, knowledge, and inner connection)
- Is there anything I would have like to have done differently? If so, what?
- Where I am going? (In the next 6 months, 1 year, 3 years and longer)
- What plan of action can I put in place to get over "roadblocks" and get moving on my way?
- Am I alignment with my life's purpose?
This year has been pivotal in shifting from a previous way of thinking and striving to a more essential way of being. I remind myself often, of the essential way of living, especially when I fall into the old patterns such as anger, sadness and negative thinking. Positive plans of action are already mapped out and I engage with them when I am, in a negative place.
If I find myself in a negative place, I follow a simple pattern that I have used often which gets easier and easier to use each time to practice it. This may be a conversation I have with myself:
- "Boy I feel angry (or sad or disconnected or lonely)."
- "Well, I can stay in this mood or I can make a new choice and focus on something other than this."
- "Breathe. Connect with the moment. I feel my feel on the floor, I feel my chest moving with my deep breath, I feel myself connecting to my state of being rather than that negative emotion."
- "I have every right to feel angry (or sad or disconnected or lonely). I made a mistake and I felt stupid and embarrassed. I am human and making mistakes is part of being human. It is okay to make a mistake. I am okay, even though I made a mistake. I am enough, even if I make a mistake."
- "what can I focus on to take away the sting I feel from the self punishment I was engages in? I have some my audio book I can listen to or I can watch people here or I can go for a walk.
- Focusing on the present moment makes me feel better. I must have looked pretty silly being uptight about making a mistake. Laughing about it reduced the importance I placed on being perfect. All is well. I have so much to be thankful for."
As I use this process, I am taking huge steps in breaking old patterns and old beliefs. Here is the simple break down.
- Being conscious of my emotional state
- Allowing myself to be in that state
- Connect to the present moment by breathing
- Supporting myself and being kind to myself
- Changing my focus (Physically, emotionally, and mentally) to move, move me out of that negative state
- Staying in a positive place and connecting to the truth
When I discovered and started using this process, I was going through the process several times in an hour. Sometimes I was exhausted, but using them started shifting my awareness of the non-truths I was telling myself. When I stopped using those words and connecting to the truth, I didn't have to use the processes so much.
It has been 10 years since I found that process. Today, I use them once in a while, because my temperament stays pretty happy these days.